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Tarmac Meditations #143: The Road to Chapter 2 (Tip On A Dead Junkie)

March 14, 2014 By Michael Lebowitz 1 Comment

watching the grass growI started writing this piece when it occurred to me that I needed a short piece for the magazine, and I thought a piece about writing would be easier to write than it turned out to be. The piece presented itself as a response to watching a documentary called Greenwich Village: Music That Defined a Generation. Fred Neil, The Lovin’ Spoonful, Eric Anderson, Phil Ochs, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Peter Paul and Mary, and of course, Pete Seeger; all as prelude to Cindy with the luminous red hair, and leather. Richard Thompson (Fairport Convention) said that red hair and leather were his favorite outfit. It seemed so simple then, and of course it wasn’t; what it was was innocent and naïve. And sweet. Romantic in every sense of the word. What does this have to do with writing Chapter 2?

First thoughts;:The way back came back with a rush. Cindy and all the others, young not yet broken for the most part by life itself, remarkably hopeful, and energized daily by the passions of their times: the Vietnam war, anti-nukes, the drugs and freedom that being in full-fledged revolt against the “Machine” demanded. Most of the memories ended with putting the old vinyl back into their covers and placing them back on the shelf with great care and some hesitation as If putting them back would doom both them and me to the proverbial dustbin of history and dreams as yet unfulfilled.

Second thought: Charlie is just back from rehab. He had bottomed out after a torturous affair with a woman, a girl actually, half his age, a crack addict with whom he fell in love in the absolute way that aging romantics do with the fallen angels of their delusional worlds. It was as if he could learn something from the distance in her eyes and the hardness in her heart as long he employed the old tunes to invest the horror show of his own life with remnants of romance. He knew that she lied with every breath but he didn’t care; so long as there was dope and sex, life was “all good.” And if not exactly good it was all he wanted. He was as addicted to her as he was to the crack cocaine. It finally fell apart when she disappeared for two weeks, came back with no explanation and like the old song says “a hand full of Gimme and a mouth full of much obliged.”

Next thought: Teemu had been Charlie’s dealer and his best friend since college. Neither of them missed the irony of Charlie seeking Teemu out at the bar, as usual, despite spending the previous six months in rehab. After Teemu makes his offer, Charlie goes home and gets lost, dreaming about what his world looks like. A vast open space yawns before him. Can he go back to being the private investigator that he was before rehab? Is there any real work that he can do that will support him and keep him interested in real life without the drugs that he has always used to ease his way? Like most returning addicts he has the sure and certain knowledge that most doors are closed to him. He has been refused recently at the local paper as a photographer, having something to do with blowing off an important assignment at the last minute and calling his editor from County jail where he wound up after a week-long binge. His editor refused to pay the bail money. Charlie appeared before the only judge with whom he had a give-and-take relationship based on Charlie’s having helped said magistrate with the search for his missing daughter. Charlie was given the choice between jail and treatment and while he did not really see the difference between the two he thought that the treatment center food would be better than the jail cuisine during his withdrawal.

Final thoughts: Stop thinking and start writing and let the story come to me. Based on who these people are they will do what they know how to do and have always done even though it may not be in their best interest to prove the living truth of the old saw that “those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.” These people are tied to one another by their pasts, and their insatiable need to do what they have always done, perhaps for different reasons, which obscures their vision enough to allow them to expect different results each time. All that remains for me to do is stay seated in front of the computer and let these”friends” of mine lay out their stories for me to write down. Michael, remember this: ”T’is a tale told by an idiot…” who may or not be you. I said that.

 

Image Credit

Photo by Michael Lebowitz. All rights reserved.

 

Filed Under: On Writing, Tarmac Meditations

Tarmac Meditations #142: The Road Back

February 9, 2014 By Michael Lebowitz Leave a Comment

I like the invitation of open roads and empty trails wherever they may be.

Road Trip - VictoriaThey imply doing, accomplishment and unforeseen results. The possibilities are what we make of them when we lace up and light out.

Open road

Photo Credits

Photos by Michael Lebowitz – All Rights Reserved
 

Filed Under: Running, Tarmac Meditations

Tarmac Meditations #141: There Is A Time To Every Purpose Under Heaven

February 2, 2014 By Michael Lebowitz Leave a Comment

I haven’t swung an axe in a year, on account of my back. I did this afternoon all the while singin this land is your land…”. I carried the wood inside and thought that Mr. Pete Seeger will be with me as long as I am (and yeah I know that Mr. Woody Guthrie wrote the tune). Them guys are fine companions on a grey day when work needs doin’ and the rain and wind is blowin’ in across the Western Ridge.

Winter comin' ... 2014

Photo Credit

Photo is by Michael Lebowitz – All Rights Reserved

Filed Under: Tarmac Meditations

Tarmac Meditations #140: Early Mornin’ Driftin’

January 27, 2014 By Michael Lebowitz Leave a Comment

Early morning in Denton, Texas, outside Big Mikes. One time the waitress brought me coffee and a muffin and inquired after my well being; as she walked away, the shadows of her long hair played on the wall behind her and for a moment I felt like I might live forever. Denton, Texas, my home town, the place where I was born for the second time, the place where people know my story and are as if my kinfolk.

Beardsley Day 1Sometimes I think about my childhood friends and the faces of the Denton crew come to mind. Weird how often it feels like that to me. Thinking about my old friend Howard this mornin’ and his peaceful passing in 2011.

Howard

 Photo Credits

Photos by Michael Lebowitz – All Rights Reserved
 

Filed Under: Tarmac Meditations

Tarmac Meditations #139: It Ain’t Over til it’s Over

December 29, 2013 By Michael Lebowitz Leave a Comment

The thing is that I shoot the same stuff almost daily, these days. I am still “movement in the world” challenged – in other words I don’t get around much anymore. I love shooting the fog and mist. I kind of relate to it ” just hangin’ out on a winter’s morning hunkered down and still here. Wasn’t a done deal not so long ago. It’s better this way. For real.  Someone offered to drive me to some shooting locations. I confessed that I have become a parking lot kind of guy – at least until my back heals up, no uphills and downhills for this ol dude. Keepin’ the faith…

Keepin' the faith…

My FB year in review had lots of photographs, some of them are pretty good. It has a lot of words, some of which have been described as unflattering, or unnecessary or in my mind, just bad writing. Shit happens. It has been a complicated year. It started out with the arrival of my fabulous granddaughter and morphed almost immediately into a terrific project, Long Run pictures shot a lot of races and we seemed to be doing very well. All of that activity can tire a person out, so one day I lay down to take a nap and woke up having suffered a stroke which knocked out my peripheral vision. The next day I went for a run and two days later I shot an event here in Eugene. Grit is where you find it. It seemed to me at that time that there was nothing to fear and by the end of the year it has turned out that way. Shortly after the nap, I drove down to Western States, arguably the most historic and high-profile 100 mile race in America, a true privilege for a guy who makes a living shooting ultras. When I got back, full of enthusiasm for the project that we called ” Slammin’: Voices From The Middle of The Pack, damn if there wasn’t another stroke and after that another one. I canceled all of my shooting arrangements for the rest of the year, and the slam project went on hold. Not so very easy to do. I said goodbye to a friend I had hoped would be in my life for a long time to come. It didn’t work out. I wish for her and for everyone the best of everything goin’ forward in the new year: as I hope that we can do our level best to get out of our own way and find the best of each other in one another.

The best of everything

As of today, the year will end with the return of my daughter Ariel from two years abroad. Color me happy. As I was leaving the café where I often have breakfast, big old Ken, owner of the best BBQ joint in town called out to me, see you next year Mikey. Count on it. I said that.

Photo Credits

Photos by Michael Lebowitz – All Rights Reserved
 

 

Filed Under: Tarmac Meditations

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