Tarmac Meditations #30: The Bruises Have Yet to Show

August 16, 2010

I’m told that the u-pick-em organic blueberry farm out on Royal, west of Greenhill, is picked out…which is too bad ’cause the blueberries from there are sooooooo goooood.

Fever, migraine, out of blueberries, some days just plain suck.

August 17, 2010

Fever and migraine…gone. Body? Exhausted. Heart? Wore out. Faith in my own survival, clean and steady? Intact. Compassion? Tested, not found wanting. Life and life only, I guess. “On the same spot I sit today/others came, in ages past, to sit/One Thousand Years, still others will come/Who is the singer and who is the listener?” —Nguyen Cong Tru.

August 18, 2010

When it all goes wrong it goes wrong….worst hour of a long life of bad hours. I have lost the ability to say what I mean to someone who means the world to me. Go in peace. Let the healing begin for both of us. Night soon come.

August 20, 2010

Feels like I been in a 15 round slugfest…the bruises have yet to show. The exhaustion is palpable. There was no winner here as is often the case. Everybody lost. But survival is the key and so too the opportunity to take another step — it is always the same step, but if one is to live out one’s dreams, you have to take it ( with apologies to St. Ex).

August 21, 2010

Just noticed that my friend count is down by one. When the hell did heartbreak become a Facebook absence? It ain’t Keats or Browning, but damn, it sure is real. In other words, the war is over. Time to let peace break out.

August 22, 2010

Sometimes Facebook posts can be close to the bone…sometimes the web log effect of posting renders what is private more public than it ought to be. I ought not forget that my stuff is my own; that I can write well from time to time is no reason to disrespect my own privacy despite the window in my heart.

Photo Credit

“Blueberries” Jeff Kubina @ Flickr.com. Creative Commons. Some Rights Reserved.